Yesterday was an eventful day. I am now 31 years old and just saying that number out loud really makes feel old. I don't feel too old or even look old but the thought is interesting. Like last year, my birthday was wonderful and Drew has made the day so special for me; I believe I will remember this day for a long time.
All week, Drew has been downstairs do something and I couldn't figure out what he was doing. He was a little devious about it and had me curious. Yesterday morning, he brought up a huge box that was wrapped in two different wrapping paper and he was giggling about it. My thought was, what did I ask for that was this big? Did he really think of something that I didn't ask for? Sweet! I had to stare at that box all morning as he went to help his grandmother move. When he finally came home, I began unwrapping all of my presents, the big one being last of course! I finally got to it and I started unwrapping, it was another box! It continued for a long time and we sat their giggling. I finally got down to the last box and it was the ring I had picked up months ago! I couldn't believe it! Drew got down on his knees and asked me to be his wife; I said yes! My ring(s) are beautiful and I can't wait to wear them all together when finally say our vows. I am so excited to be with the man I love! SO EXCITED!

Grandma passed away not too long ago. Found out today. Upset. Upset with myself and uncles.

Grandma-I hope you are happy now. I hope you have found the place that you were looking for. Say hi to Grandpa for me and please come visit me so I can say a proper good-bye to you. I do love you. Rest in Peace now.

I love you and you will be missed.

I am really upset with Drew right now. I know that he couldn't help the situation but I just want to cry. On Saturday I am going to be in one of my good friend's line. She lives in Boise and I will have to make a special trip over there. While that doesn't bug me. It is going to the wedding by myself. I have asked him several months ago to mark this date on the calendar. So lately, it has been I am not sure if I will be able to go with you on Friday but I will be there on Saturday. Today he comes home for lunch and tells me that it is a possibilty that he won't be able to go. I cried for the first part of the afternoon. I do not want to be at the wedding by myself with strangers that I don't know. I don't want to be at the wedding where my former sorority sisters don't care for me. I just want him to be with me. I don't think it is too selfish of me as we had talk of this for months.
Drew never gets vacation, let alone time off. If he has to plan, he can't guarantee that he will be available. Is this how it will be for the rest of our lives? As of this moment, he is the only journeyman which also means no other time to take off. He is already missing his annual canyon trip and I am sure he will miss many other events of his/our lives. I don't understand why his father takes advantage of him like this. Drew came back to Idaho from Alaska to save his dad's business, yet I don't see any real appreciation from his family. He is one of the hardest workers I know and I know he puts in 110% in his job. But he needs to have breaks every once in awhile. I don't see how taking one day off or missing a Saturday session of work is really going to do damage to the company. I just don't see it. It is starting to piss me off that Drew never gets to have free time for himself. Today's remarks really set me off and I am very upset. I have held off making plans for this weekend because I didn't know. I have no idea where I am going to stay, if I am going to be driving or catching a ride, or what the hell I am doing. I need to know by tomorrow. Sigh.

Maybe I am selfish or maybe it is him. I don't know. The last two weeks, I have heard nothing about complaints and how much shopping he has to do. Yet, tommorow he is going to go sledding and he has yet to buy gifts for others. It frustrates me because I  have willingly giving up some of my gifts so he didn't have to stress. Now, I wish I didn't. I am so frustrated with him tonight as we had discussed last night what things to get for his friends. He asked me to make up the cans to decorate and fill for his friends. So I began them but then I find out that he is going to go play, so I gave up. Why bother, when he isn't going to dedicate his time to find his friends the gifts? Especially, when we talked about finding special beers to give to them and he will have to make a run to these special stores. He will be too tired tomorrow and the stores won't be open on Sunday. 

I am just irriated that he thinks he can wait the last minute and still complain to me that he still has "shopping to do." Really, you could have made the effort and gone after work a couple of times or gone when I said I was going. But no, it was really "too difficult" for him. Or so these are my thoughts. 

So tommorow will arrive and I will still have to do his shopping for him. You know what? I will let him do it on his own. I can't hold his hand through this right now. I just can't.

My birthday turned out great. I believe it was one of the best birthdays that I had in a VERY long time. I had friends and family over that night and we celebrated in high style; it seemed that everyone enjoyed themselves. I am thankful for the people in my life, especially to those I have met in the last six months. 

I am on vacation right now. Thankfully it ended two days ago and I am finally settling down to some very relaxed days. Sometime next week, I will have to get back to working on my plans. But for right now, I am not going to worry about it. This last Monday I had my first evaluation by the Principal. I hope that I did ok because my plans were not part of my usual curriculum for my students. I will be seeing him in my classroom shortly after break and I have to be prepared. My students on Wednesdays were little hellions but I couldn't help but love them anyway. I received many little gifts that I will most likely cherish forever. It was amazing how much stuff I brought home! Another thing I have to do this vacation is to read as many books as I can. I challenged my students that I will match the books read in 21 days. My students read 91 books! Yikes!  We will see if I can do it!

My little brother is arriving in town today. I am excited to have the whole family together for Christmas. It has been a very long time since we have been together as a family. He will be here for a week so it give us plenty of time to catch up. He has never seen our house and I am excited to show him. Speaking of houses, all those that had never seen my house, were so impressed with my designs! (I thought to myself, well yeah, you should be impressed because I do have a degree in Interior Architecture!) But I was happy to see that people were really impressed with what we have done to our house. 

Today, I started my first part of training. Although, we didn't get down to the actual training, I did this one little sprint exercise and I will tell you that I will not be looking forward to doing it! It nearly killed me! But whatever helps me to become healthier and more fit. I am supposed to take a picture of myself in a bikini so I can have a view of a progression in my weight loss. I guess I will be breaking out the suits...but the question is...what suit should I break out?

I am looking forward to this Christmas as it is the first time I didn't really have to stress about money. Sure I will be broke in a couple of weeks and will be looking forward to my next paycheck, but I am loving the fact that I can spoil my baby. He has always spoiled me (what can I say?) so it is time that I show him how much I love him. I have been enjoying this immensly. People have been asking me if I am expecting a ring for Christmas and I am telling them that "no, I don't expect a ring because Drew has already bought me something expensive this year and I think that is enough." I believe the ring can wait. I already know that the man loves me and if he loves me enough to get something for me that will improve my health and well-being, I know he is committed. People have also asked me if I was offended by the present to me and I just tell them that this is what I wanted, granted I wasn't expecting a years worth of training but I am not complaining! I really can't wait to see the results by this time of year in 2007. Maybe then, I will expect the ring, I should look hot enough! 

Well I should make myself useful. I know I need to get some things done...

Today is my birthday and it has been a wonderful day so far. I woke up a little grumpy but Drew changed all of that in one heartbeat. No, it wasn't an engagement, although I would have loved it! But he gave me a training package so I can start feeling better about myself and to lose this weight. It has been something I've been wanting for the past few months and it was a wonderful gift! I love that man! So I guess in a sense, I am spoiled. I don't know how many sessions I have but I will find out when I go in.
Today, I shared my birthday with many people. This has always been a popular day and it never fails to have someone from work, friends, relations, or acquantiances (I know I spelled that wrong) to celebrate this day with. Today, not only I had a coworker with the same birthday but my newest student as well. My students celebrated in style today and I heard an half-hour of a whoopie cushion being sat on. It was great fun, especially when the students thought they were tricking me to sit on one and I made the big brrrrah. They laughed so hard!
Tonight, I am having a get together. I don't know who will show or who won't but I wish I lived closer to some of my friends. I will have some new ones here as well as the old, among Drew's friends. My parents will be arriving along with my beautiful younger sister and I think it will be a time of fun!
Anyway, I know I need to get some party gear ready...I hope my special man arrives soon!

It is 5:15 a.m. right now and I haven't been able to sleep for the past two hours. Sigh. This does not bode a good day ahead. I can imagine how I will be with the students and the last thing I want to be is grouchy. I am currently debating on the gym, but I wouldn't mind an extra hour of sleep. Too many things on my mind, I guess.

Teaching is going well and I thoroughly enjoy it. Since I have been working out more, I can see my attitude change and it has been a positive one. I joke with the students more and they are working hard to please me. I have a such a wonderful group of students and I feel so lucky to have a great batch my first year of teaching.

Drew and I are doing well. He bought a new sled and now realized that money is tight. I knew this would be the situation when the subject was brought up and frankly, it had upset me for a few days. But what can I do or say? Not much. So the last few weekends, he has taken his sled joyriding and he is happy. In the long run, that is what needed to be done. However, knowing that money is tight, I don't think I will ever expect a ring from him in a long time. This frustrates me a bit because I want to feel settled down and not worried about the future too much. I mentioned looking at rings last night as a joke but I could tell that bothered him a bit. That irked me a little. Sigh.
As for my health, it could be a lot better. My back keeps going out and it has caused me great pain and suffering. My poor students didn't know how to respond to my pain and I didn't handle myself well in a couple of situations. I realized after I had snapped at them that it was time to take a day off. This pain has gone on over a month and it is now slowly getting better. This morning as I headed to the bathroom, I realized that I know longer had sharp pain running down my right leg. SWEET! Of course, after this realization, the pain came back. Dang it. I've been receiving massages and acupunctures to help my pain and I've seen the difference! I believe that most of back problems that have been occuring lately has been the significant weight gain from my PCOS symptoms. I am trying like mad to get the weight off but it has been a little difficult. Especially, when my back has been causing me problems and it has been hard to do many things like exercise. But now I am slowly getting back into that. So we will see if I drop a few pant sizes in the next few months. In January, I am thinking of working with a personal trainer to give me an extra push. I've talked to the trainer at the gym and I really like the guy. Very friendly and I feel that he would be able to assist me.

Two weeks from today is my 30th birthday! It is crazy to think it is coming up and that I've been waiting for this day for a long time. I am not sure what my birthday plans are and if I am going to have a birthday bash or not. I would like one but I want people to be there because of me. I was talking to Drew about it last night and I told him that I didn't mind his friends but didn't care too much about their girlfriends or wives. I hate being snubbed when I see them. I know Drew would like me to invite them and I may end up doing that anyway. I wish more of my friends lived in this area. So we will see what happens!

Man, I am tired! I just want to snooze for a few minutes. In an hour, I should be up and moving...yi yi ya! Is it worth going to bed for an hour? We will see!

It has been a long time since I've written in here. For starters, I've been swamped with being a teacher and it seems that things never die down. I should actually be working on lesson plans but I am not in the mood to be doing so. Instead I am baking pumpkin cookies and it seems like it will be a long process. Why did I start this?
I love teaching and I look forward to seeing my students everyday. I am very fortunate to have a great batch of students and they all work hard. This has made my life easier and I know that many first years don't have this great experience. Although, I have a great class it seems that I just can't create great lesson plans. It really bothers me.
Drew and I are doing good. Yesterday, we bought a new washer and dryer which should be arriving to the house in the next two weeks. We have decided that we are going to renovate the laundry room and the bathroom that lies back there. Thank goodness we already have the paint but we have to figure out what kind of tile/stone we would like and what kind of cabinetry that we would like. I wonder when we are going to start this?
Other than that...I've been experiencing ovary pains and finally went in to get them checked again. A lady awhile back told me that I didn't have PCOS and acted like it was in my imagination. Thank goodness I am seeing my regular lady. I went in for a ultra sound the other day and found that I still have cysts. The pains that I've been experiencing, especially the other day, was that one of my cysts ruptured. Now I know what the sharp pains are. It seems that this is a constant thing. So my birth control has been increased to a different formula. We will see if this will work. Among that, I found out that I had sinitus and I probably had it for the last 2 months when I began feeling light headed. I feel like an idiot because I couldn't feel my earaches at all. I wonder how much hearing I lost due to this oversight.
Solstice has been hopping on 3 legs and one of her legs will not touch the ground. I went to the vet on Tuesday to see what was wrong but the vet couldn't find anything wrong. He gave me medicine to give to her and it doesn't seem to be doing anything. I may have to take her in again to get her hip x-rayed. Sigh. It seems that when health problems hit me, it also hits my dogs. I wonder why?
Today, Drew is doing one last fishing trip down the canyon. He won't be able to go Steelheading until the end of this month. So he was rather excited. His family invited me to lunch so I should be heading over there in the next hour. I probably should visit my folks too.
Anyway...I should start planning. I apologize for being somewhat a mystery but I am alive and well. I do read my friend's entries to see how you are. I know that I need to write more often...

Last night, a policeman came over and told us that he was giving us a warning for our dogs. Apparently, a neighbor had called in complaining about the excessive barking coming from my yard. He told me that next time we will be cited and animal control will take them away. This has made me upset. I have a seven month old westie and a 3 year old westie, I realize that the seventh month is still in training and even I get frustrated with her barking. But my dog isn't the only one that barks. The neighbor next to me has a dog that yaps as much as mine do and he sounds just like my dogs. Often, I find myself yelling at them to be quite when it is actually him. Sigh.

I have a chain-linked fence so the dogs see everything and bark at everybody that runs by. Apparently, they complained about that as well. So now two of my neighbors has an incentive to call the policeman anytime and anyday. I don't know what to do. I really don't. Any way to cure barking? I don't know if I want to go out and buy shock collars but then again I can't risk losing my babies.

I am so irritated with that neighbor. At least I don't let my dog run lose all over the neighborhood. I have heard that people down the street are annoyed with it and have nearly ran that dog over. At least mine are confined in the yard. Drew overheard them last night and he commented that she said we were unapproachable. WTF? If anybody was unapproachable, it would be them and I am not stuck in 80's she-mullet style gear. (Ok, that was mean but I am upset.)

Any ideas how to decrease the barking?

I am so excited! Just when I thought I wouldn't make it, I got it! I will be teaching 3rd grade at the school I student taught at. My mentor teacher will be my long time friend and who was also my cooperating teacher, so that will be a big plus! It had helped that the Principal saw my work and I believe that nudged me in, as I stated to him that I didn't think I did that good in the interview. He told me that he knew I was nervous and felt that I could do a great job. This is so exciting! Now I can move on and prepare for things! This is just so exciting! I can finally settle down a bit more.

This week I have been lucky enough to have 3 interviews ( I will have my 3rd tomorrow) but as it seems I have not been that lucky to recieve a job offer. I still have to wait from the school that I want but now I am thinking that I will most likely won't get it. Why? Today's interview went fantastic and I still didn't get an offer. The interview on Monday went so so and now I am beginning to doubt that I will get an offer. Sure the Principal knew my work but I don't think I really wowed anyone in the interview. I guess I haven't been doing that.

Last night, Drew said something that upset me and unfortunatly I have been dwelling on it. Sometimes, I don't feel like I have the support I need from him and it hurts more than I care to let on. Are true colors coming out? I am not sure but if it keeps up, I might not be around much longer.

There hasn't been much to say lately. This week has been a week of disturbances in the schedule of events and I have slacked off on my daily walks with my friend. We will soon restart this venture next week when she comes back from Tuscan. She and I have been averaging 4 miles a day on our walks and it has been something that has kept me productive afterwards...However with the holiday this week and her leaving today, we never had the chance to do so.

I spent the 4th with Drew as we took the dogs out to a local gravel pond north of here. Drew had never been there and I was astonished about it, but then again he likes the river to fish in. I caught a couple of fish and I enjoyed myself immensely. It was interesting to see the school of fishing following my lure as they all tried to catch it. Later, I got stung by something (most likely a bee or wasp) on the palm of my hand beneath the thumb. Thank goodness, I am not allergic to the stings as it wouldn't have made a great day. But I was swollen for a good day and a half. Ouch! After our fishing excursion, Drew and I headed over to his parent's house for a barbeque. We were late and it was a last minute decision, as I ate my lunch, I watched the adults and kids play in the slip and slide; bringing up many memories of my childhood. I decided to be a party pooper but next time I will participate! We didn't go to the fireworks, it was no use seeing them and fighting the crowds. Plus, I feel it isn't that big of a deal so to say.

Drew and I have had an interesting conversation lately due to fireworks. His brother and sister-in-law were having a barbeque at their place on the 3rd, afterwards they were to have a firework show. We weren't planning on going anyway but I did tell Drew that if we ever had kids, they would not participate in this event anyway. I don't care for them and I feel that at times they can become out of hand. I watch a kid down the street burn his hand trying to light a firework the other day. I just shook my head and sighed. Maybe it is because I was not brought up doing these things or perhaps it is because I just think it is too dangerous (plus it hurts my ears). Anyhoo, I just don't want my children around that. At that barbeque, everyone asked us why we didn't show. Drew blamed it on me and now everyone thinks I am afraid of fire. Ok...not.

Drew and I are getting ready to head to a dress rehearsal dinner in a few minutes. One of his good friends is getting married on Saturday. I get to see Drew in a tux! How exciting is that? Unfortunatly, being around all this wedding stuff is making me wish that he and I would soon make a more serious commitment. I must not get too anxious but it is happening.

I should change...

Yes! And No, I didn't get a teaching job just yet. The school that I did my student teaching now has 3 openings (well 4, but not one that I would be certified in)available. You don't know how excited I am! The Principal was my supervisor during my term and had to evaluate me many times, so he has seen my work. Which helps me in many ways. I have been waiting and hoping that a position would be opening there; it finally happened. Now I just have to keep my emotions and hopes in check.

But at least, he knows me and has seen me in action. It did help that I received an excellent recommendation from him and it wasn't one of those recommendations that Principals would write for those who never really seen the work of the student teachers. I almost feel that it may just happen...so everyone keep your fingers crossed.

(By the way, the interview won't be until the week after the 4th of July...) I am just so excited!!

Today I went on my daily walk with a new friend that lives down the street from me. The exercise has been wonderful and becoming aquainted with another has been great as well. I love the idea of making a new friend around here that isn't related to my boyfriends' friends. Anyhoo, on these walks we often walk by the river on dirt roads with Rapunzel and her 2 boys...one big boy in a form of a dog:Chase and the other a very adorable boy: Bryce. Rapunzel and Chase are always eager to go on these walks and take a swim on the river. I would take the other 3 dogs but it would be too much. When I am done dog sitting, Solstice will be joining in on our excursions. Today, Rapunzel decided to do a mud roll after she came out of the river...she didn't even look like a dog that I owned but something in the form of Toto from Wizard of Oz.

Blackish/brown face with dark eyes peering from beneath her lion mane of fur. I just sighed and I knew it was time for a bath. (Last night, Drew decided that he would water the lawn and before doing so, the girls decided to chase the water that he was spraying around the water. Rapunzel decided to do her body surfing on the dirt after she got sprayed...) So the bath was necessary...

So I came home, talked to Drew, and got the dog ready for the bath. I tell you, I got the dirtiest look from that dog. Solstice not wanting to be left out, decided to join us in our shower. So there we were, the 3 of us in the bath tub taking a shower. It was crowded and I noticed that another puppy was whimpering to join in. Sigh. So I cleaned the two girls, let them run around the house all frisky and bouncing, while I had to wash the puppy as well. So needless to say, I had water all over the floors and dogs yipping and running around the house. What a morning!

I know you were all interested in reading that...

On another note...I am quite ticked off at one of the school districts here in Idaho Falls. As I was sitting on a couch yesterday for an interview, another girl stopped in and she was waiting behind me. (She didn't expect to arrive so early) So she and I started talking about stuff.
Girl: So did you have any interviews with District #91?
Me: No, you?
Girl: No. I subbed in that District and I was hoping that I would land an interview.
Me: I sub there as well.
Girl: I subbed at Erickson quite a bit and the Principal told me that no one would be able to interview me until Dr. Murdoch dies.
Me: What? Really?
Girl: Yes, I also called some other Principals and visited with them. But they said the same thing. Apparently, Dr. Murdoch reviews the applicants and sends who he thinks are best to the Principals.
Me: Wow. I really didn't know that.
Girl: Me either and I forced him to interview me so I can be interviewed by the Principals.

And the conversation continued from that point. I was seething when I heard about this, as a matter of fact I am still quite pissed. That means, I never had a chance to be interviewed because I didn't go to the right "university." Neither did this girl or the girls who were being interviewed for the position yesterday. It really pissed me off. I know it is because I am not a certain religion and that isn't right at all. Fortunatly, the man had to resign from his position and there is another person going in. But the changes will be different next year, perhaps a year too late. It is discrimination and it urkes me to no end because I really can't prove it. I really hate the dominant religion in this town at times. Sigh.

So there you go...I should be doing some house work. I did start the laundry... I saw my dad for the first time in 2 weeks and he is heading out to McCall tomorrow.

I do have to tell you, the 3 dogs do look pretty white and smell clean!(I also know they feel better as well...)

I am counting down the days when I will have only 2 dogs in the house and not 4. Not that it has been too bad really...but the constant barking drives everyone up the wall. I am sure the neighbors are really annoyed with us.

Not only that...I have to keep grounding Rapunzel to the house. She keeps jumping into Drew's garden all because of a cat with a bell on its collar! It has been terrible the last few days.

I haven't done much today. I wish I was boating with friends. If only...nah...never mind.

I think I should head back to the living room. Maybe I can find something more functional to do...since I really have nothing to say...sigh.

In this last year, I have gained friends that I have not met in my life. I know them through various blogs and through here; I have to say that without meeting them I wouldn't have been lucky to receive such support from them. They have seen me through my ups and downs when I voice my thoughts and never once casting judgement on me. Now that is what I call true friendship! I hope that one day, I can actually meet up with them and have conversations, drinks, laughter, pictures, and much else.

So to my friends that I have never spoken a word to, yet have talked to you through words online...I want to say thank you for being there for me. It really means alot to me and I know that I can always count on you to listen (or read, so to say). I hope that one day we will meet face to face and continue a long road of friendship. Thank you so very much.

It is quiet in the house. Solstice is at the vet, getting spade and Rapunzel is wandering the yard somewhere. I think she is lonely and had gotten used to the company, not realizing that this time tomorrow the house will be occupied with many dogs.

Today, I decided to do a little weeding. BIG MISTAKE! My allergies had been horrible lately because I had not gone in for my twice weekly shots for awhile. I did do it today after coffee with my mom but then I decided to weed. So not only am I covered in dirt and mud but with rashes too...with an occassional sneeze. I wasn't thinking obviously!

Now I need to wait until my symptoms have died down a bit to actually do something productive...I should go down the street and talk to a new friend of mine but then that means I have to look somewhat decent...

I should get started on the chicken enchiladas...but it sounds like a lot of work right now...but so yummy...yeah..that is what I should do...

Life has been incredibly frustrating for me of late. I have motivation then I don't have motivation. I have a few applications sitting on my desk that needs to be turned in, yet I don't feel inspired to do so. I was told that since I don't have my certification, no one will hire me. Well, the thing is, I am in the process of a certification. I just have to pass a lousy test and I won't be able to take it until August. Another thing I was told was if I didn't have my literacy comprehension course done, no one will look at me as well. So I started the class, (although I can't afford it right now) and found out that I didn't have to take it just yet. There is a teacher in my class who is currently a first, so why the rush for me to take it now? My teacher was in awe of me taking it right now and I was shocked at that. So I rushed home and looked at the requirements for my certification. I just have to pass that test. Sigh. I will take the course and have it done with. Plus it would be an extra 3 credits I could take that will be an addition to my Masters. It is all frustrating!

Meanwhile, I have guests coming to town. One is already in town and another will be arriving next week. I want to have part of the house done. Especially my guardrail for the stairs. It is taking me forever to finish it. I am using a door that will lie upright on its side instead of cable railing or wooden railing. It should look cool when I am done. But it is frustrating me. I just want to finish it! (I've been working on this well over a month now...)Then I need to paint some canvases for my bedroom, decorate our patio tables because they are ugly to look at (Drew and I decided to wait on the patio furniture), paint the mantel, etc. The list is exhausting and I still can't get myself motivated to do anything. I just feel bummed out.

Feeling this way, I have not really communicated with Drew as well as I should have. These last few days I just lack the energy to talk and discuss things. He hasn't been too helpful in the support department and I just decided it would be easier not to say anything. I miss him even if I see him everyday. How sad is that?

So today, I am trying to get out of this funk. I started working on some letters for my applications and I am slowly talking to Drew again. I need to stay positive. I know it...but somedays it is really difficult to do so.